Confession

Can I confess something? I hope dka mgagalit.

You know what, I like you. Not just a friend but greater than that. I just want to say this to you since I cnt longer bear it, mnsan nga I get jealous f mkita ktang talkng to someone who's a bi also. D nman aq mgcselos if I dnt feel anything special for you. Kc yung like eh nag evolve n cya as days turned to months, I learned to love u na evn b4 u quit from work. D q lng ma express for I'm afraid na bka mag iba ang pkikitungo mo sakin. Kya I seek advise kai nonah at sa friend q na kilala krin, they told me stuffs about u. From wat they shared I learned more about u, since d nman tayo naguusap o exchange info bout satin.

D q nga maintindihan why I felt lyk this towards you, kla q likeness lng pero love na pla; unrequited nga lng. U dnt even know nga na I'm always happy kng sasama ka samin sa mga gimick khit na malayo ka, do understnd rn nmn y mnsan nag dedecline ka. Lam mo, mtgal q na sana to gustong sabihin, yun una qng attempt ay nun sa taxi kso d q gusto na sbihin yun na nkainom aq. Yun 2nd nman ay npka epic fail, nwla c courage kya I end up txting it to u. Honestly I'm afraid na mggalit ka sakin dahil dun, p.s nga pla both rain n mira wla clng kinalaman dto. Wla na nga aqng plan to communicate for d mean time, to give way kc I always think negative things na d nkakatulong.

U know what, I thought na u'll no longer communicate with me aftr what I did. Bck n my mind, I knew na cla rang rain n mira imo e comunicate, I certainly undrstnd nmn if it happened. Nun, mira askd u bout sa txt nd u gave a postve respnse, I felt relieve nun. Kaya ngayon I'll wait for d time, that i can clarify this thing. Didn't xpcted nga na i'll get a message from u aftr wat you txtd to mira, honstly was glad that time. Yun nga lng n badshot dn lng, dnt knw f u intended sbhin na u're with ur ex that day. Sa tinuorai, I felt bad pwde mn gud nimo I sulti that u were with a friend; I knw n the first place nga i dnt hold something to you, it's just I'm quite offended. Wla sd q kblo wats running sa imo mind sa pg txt nmo ato, I'll just ignore it, bsag ni ingon c frnd nga I'm winning everyones side, I dnt quite believe it for I know ur winning her back nd honestly i'll be glad bsag sakit cya, for I know that ur planning to have a family of ur own nd wla sa imo vocabulary to get into this knd of relationship.

Ryt now I doubt if the day will come in which I can tell u this personally, I know nga it's not possible but then I'm still hoping nga it will come. Hope the only thing nga I'm holding at this point, I know fate will lead me on that day but I dnt really know when will it be. I'm just here waiting for the time, that i can settle this. Not so sure about what you may say bout this one pero I'll respct watever it is. Honestly I'm quite hoping you'll consider this feeling I have for you. Just give me d que nd I'll court you, promise.

And then the day came, that I was able to tel it to you personally. Good thing nga u asked f there's something I wanted to tell u, kay kng wla bka tameme nsad. So that was my cue to tell it, may gne wla ka nlain o nsuko instead gave me a good response. I know n d frst plce nga there wouldn't be any chnce but dep nsde I'm hoping nga naa. At least we managed to keep our friendship and for me it's quite enuf but then both mind and mind are joining forces. I really can't ignore this feeling, half of me is cntentd of what you said then there's part of me who's still hoping even now. Dnt knw nga if this knd of hoping is good or bad, bsta all I know is that I'm still in love with you. I'm hoping to see u happy n all aspects, nd I'll try to change something in my end. U've teachd me things nga I quite doubt n myself, u actually got a spot n my heart already. Bhlag ingnon nla nga I shud move on or maybe someone will come to my life but there's already a part of me is attached to u na. I hope to see you again in time.

Everything started last 05-17 and last nyt (08-31) I told him personally. I'll certainly cherish every single moment with u.

YOU

" It's your smile, Your face, your lips that I miss, Those sweet little eyes that stare at me And make me say, I'm with you through all the way. 'Cause it's you Who fills the emptiness in me; It changes ev'rything, you see, When I know I've got you with me "



I've known you already even from the start because you're just the topic of my friends every time we meet up. I'd also asked my self what's with you why my friends do like you, for I didn't find anything special in you.



I can still remember what you asked on a chat that who makes me blush, I wanted to answer that one with " Ikaw" but I didn't. There are a lot of moments with you that I'll certainly cherish, even the tequila puke you had on our TB. I did worry about you that time for what may happen to you, it's my first time to see you on that state and I regretted the fact that I leaved you on the room where I can still be a help. I found you so vulnerable on that manner and they thought that this odd feeling towards you started but it's not that moment. Never thought that I would feel this way towards you. But then fate has it's own will,bka gnyan lng talaga ka misteryoso ang puso.Naks! My attraction towards you started after the TB, when I accidentally reared my head in which my attention was caught by those eyes and smile. Can't even take my eyes out of you when were on the training room one day, from then on I managed to glance at you looking at those eyes and smile.



One thing that I won't forget is when you invited me to church after our shift, was even unsure to accompany you because of what I wear but still I managed to accompany you. I'd told my friend about how I feel towards you and she even shared some information about you. On that chat with her I found out how you were able to surpass the challenges you've encountered on your studies and life, I was amazed on the things my friend told me and made me idolized you. Guess I can't really keep a secret on the people that surround me, for they had an idea about this feelings. Seeing your smile completes my day already, but then time has it's will when you resigned from work. Eventually it made me sad but I know it's much harder in your end and I wasn't able to say goodbye to you (the word that I hate the most). I'm even considered consulting my psychiatrist friend for I always hugged your pillow and comforting it. haha. The sadness changed to happiness (weeee) when I saw you again , when we had a farewell party and birthday celebration. Honestly, I enjoyed every single moment on that night. Even that awkward moment with you in a room were our friends left us all alone. Didn't even realized that I'd leaned on your shoulder that night and that gave me a shock realizing that it's you.



Also, enjoyed our conversation after the party in which you open up about your experiences in life. Deep in my mind I was thinking to tell you how I feel towards you for I can't keep this feeling anymore. Seems like my heart and mind would burst if it reaches it's limitation.(Baka influence lng ng beer haha.) As we part ways that night I even wanted to hug you tight, waaaaaaa.. If given a chance to have a chat again with you, I'd love too.



Honestly, I don't have any intention to feel this way on you, I can't even blame my heart on feeling this way.

CamotEscapade 2012 ( Team Bea )

First serious team building that happened last May 2012 in Camotes Is., Cebu. Didn't even think that it will happen since there are uncontrollable events that occurred but good thing it turned out to be on our side. Fresh from work pa yung iba.


( departure and arrival to-from Camotes, beach, team jumpshots and sleepyheads caught in there. )


Departure from Danao City port

waiting for our ship to arrive, kaya photo shot lng muna. fufu

The vicinity and room

too wide yung space ng cab but when it would be a photo shot "siksikan to d max". ^^

our room, power rest (nga ba?) before the adventure starts

The tour starts now


visiting the spots that awed the tourists

The Beach

The Sleepyheads caught in the act, sorry guys

Back to Cebu


And now where back to Cebu after a 2 day TB. Exhausted much but then felt relieved after the team dinner at Danao Fish port.

So far, this is the BEST SUMMER EXPERIENCE 2012. Would love to travel again with these folks someday.

Food trip @ Casa Verde

It's been two weeks na when my colleague had food trip. wala lng kami magawa, just enjoying our rest day. basically, it's our plan na talaga; yun nga lang nakalimutan dahil narin naging busy sa sunod-sunod na certifications. buti nalang halos lahat nka pasa.

originally 6 kami na nag-usap tungkol sa pgpunta doon, eventually dahil hindi magkapareha nang schedules ay naging 3 nalang. but it's fun nman eh, dahil walang matinong utak sa amin tatlo. hahha

Inserting the mouth watering foods?

(Strawberry shortcake in banana split ata, hahaha)

Casa Verde, Ayala Terraces

(Shy, one of my colleague having the bing bang burger)

(si Deen aka Ash, hehehe)

(Death by chocolate cake na parang ice cream, super like talaga ko to)

(si unknown)

(The big bang burger, one of there best seller. one hell of a food, super. better have lot's of company if your going there. di namin na ubos)

after ayala, ng mcDo na nman kami sa IT park.. super gala, wlang pki alam sa oras. hahaha..

M_. Ameriprise

" Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush? "

i don't know why its playing on my mind everytime, last song syndrome ika nga nila.hehe. On the state of confusement pa cguro ako ngayon, i really don't know when this feeling started, hirap palai explain ang ganito.hehe

it started last may 2011, second week of our training; product knowledge ata yun. our shift starts at 8 kaya mga 7 andun na ako (early bird? haha), tambay muna sa lobby waiting pa kasi sa mga ibang colleague at instructor. at sakto namang end of shift ng ibang account kaya nagsa sight seeing muna bka mai mahagilap, meron nmang
attractive sa kanila pro d pa cguro time na ma attract ako. wehehe.. ganun ang set up for two weeks ata and during that span of time eh unti2 nang nagble blend in na ako sa environment.

during that time rin lalo na if offshift na sa ibang account ai ay dumadami na ang tao sa lobby kaya masyado nag maingay pero okay lng nman ksi d pa ganun ka heavy'gat
ang training nmin, sa lahat ng tga ibng account dun sa lobby iisa lng ang nka tawag pansin sa 'kin. ewan ko ba bat ganun, imust admit that person is really making me wonder who __ is. di ko rin alam bat gusto ko siya, cguro dahil sa aura niya na nkapa mysterious at cguro na rin sa cute eyes nya and that'smaking me insane.hehe At
first prang di ko lng pinapansin na parang ok,he's just like other guys
na prang wala lng. But itproved me wrong, kasi as days passed by and everytime na dadaan sya salobby ay nagkakasalubong ang aming mga mata (wah!imagination ko lng cguro yun, pro prang hindi eh),yun nga lng pauwi nasiya during those times.

luckily, our shift was changed and nakaka antok na shift. imagine 2am ang shift, di pa naman ako sanay sa ganung oras pro prang ok na rin pra masanay ako sa ganitong work.During that time rin ay naging open ako to some of my new friends and that
shift rin ay minsan ko nlng sya mkita sa lobby, not that bad nman. then one
time, training namin nun sa 4th floor, i never thoughtna makikita ko siya dun bat
hindi gaano katagal. I still even remember what he wore that time, nka beannie
hat together with white shirt and jeans enough na pra ma attract sa kanya.
gaya ng dati, glancing at each other.

one time habang nag hihintay sa TL namin, ay sakto nmang pagpunta niya
sa lobby and i didn't even notice him not until he turned back kasi npaka
pormal nya sa kanyang black long sleeves. i even heard one of my friend said
" gwapo nya " whew, totoo naman. i'm having a chit chat with my friend nung
pag dating nya, this friend of mine knows who i really am but she doesn't know who is my crush on the other account. i told her na,yung nka black long sleeve
ang crush ko pro d nya daw matandaan ang face. i told her nlng cge next time nlng
and those times came pero d parin nya na mumukhaan si m_. ameriprise.

m_. ameriprise, ang nick na binigay ko sa kanya kasi hindi ko alam ang real name
nya except sa kanyang account. di masyadong obvious na tinandaan ang nka sulat sa id sling,hehe. ginawa ko ngang inspiration si m_.a meriprise pra makapasa sa lahat ng certs na ginawa ko and luckily tumalab,haha but i do my best rin nman.


Dahil open ako to some of my friends kaya na ikwento ko sa kanila kung sino yung crush ko, at ayun naging curious din sila kung sino man yun. they even told me na i'm inspired daw lalo na if i'm telling them bout m_.ameriprise na nakita ko nman siya, iba raw kasi ang facial expression ko. shylyd even teased me na i'm kinikilig, hehe, kndatrue. kahit ang close friend ko na psychologist ay sinabihan ako na inspired raw ako at she can see it in my eyes (bakit may spark ba sa mga mata ko, di nlng ako pumalag dahil pinag-aralan kasi nya yun).

and then came a day na nag kasalubog nman kami sa lobby, kasama ko rin yung friend ko at i told him na siya si m_.ameriprise an dall he said is "ahh, gwapo rin. ui, kinilig" sabay tawa.that same day rin, sinabi ko kay shy na siya yun dahil nakita nmin sya papasok plang sa floor nila, and now she know the face of that guy. one tme rin nkita ko sya na natutulog at ang cute nyang tignan, hahai (d ko ma atempt na kunan ng pic, d nman ako stalker).

the most weirdest thing i had, ay nung i dreamed of him. on that dream ay nalman ko ang kanyang name "sterling" raw, ewan ko bat prang d bgay ang name sa kanya.hahaha
and the last dream, ay i was crying raw because of him, its not very clear to me what's the reason behind. i hope that thing won't happen.

hanggang nakaw tingin nlng cguro ako sa kanya, sigh.but i'm hoping that one day our paths will cross.

Just Me

Hi folks, this is my first time to try blogging. i was inspired by my friends that keeps telling me to have a blog. Kaya eto na pasubo, hehehe..

By the way, I'm Leo friends give me a nick of Yong An. don't know why they gave me that nick, at first it's kinda intimidating but  now I'm used to it. I'm a fresh grad from a simple college institution here in Cebu. I'm working now as a TSR, I find it as a luck as well as a blessing to have a work after I graduated. hehee, ika nga tsamba lng. hahha. Pero hindi pala biro working in a BPO, nakaka istress, whahaha.. But it's ok, as long as I have a job.

I am the eldest of four, kaya it's not easy rin. I feel that i need to payback to my folks, hehe but I don't think it that way. It's not that easy to be the kuya of all the kids in the clan, they look to you as a role model. " Role model? " they should think twice then, ahaha, what they know is incomplete.

To be honest, I am a bisexual. uh huh, and  I know they know it already especially my parents but I think they are just waiting for me to confess to them. Dapat pa ba yun? well, when the rigtht time come; I just leave it as it. hehe..

I'm happy with what I have right now but still hoping to have a great person behind my success.